I was once part of a group layoff. I worked remotely, and received the news via a phone call from a relatively new executive, not the company leader who had hired me and who I had been reporting to for the better part of nearly a year. It was a difficult day that was made harder by the manner in which the bad news was delivered.
Involuntary separations are challenging, and for the person whose job is terminated, it often triggers heightened emotions, such as feelings of isolation and shame.
Whether you’re a small business owner, a startup founder, or a manager, you should be trained on how to fire someone. It’s never easy, nor should it be when you’re dealing with someone’s livelihood. So begin with approaching the situation in a respectful way by staying clear of saying these 15 phrases when firing someone:
1. “I don’t know how to say this to you.”
Leading the dismissal with uncertainty will add to the anxiety associated with the situation. Better to be clear and direct, and not sugarcoat it. If it sounds like you’re wavering, the employee might think they could talk their way out of the termination.
2. “This is hard for me.”
Having empathy for the person you need to let go of is critical. So while you might think that saying something like “this is hard for me” expresses that you care, it doesn’t. Put yourself in their shoes if you heard that. No matter what led to you to the decision to let them go or how tough the experience is for you, always remember that the situation is much harder for them.
3. “We’re letting you go.”
When you own a business, you’re the one firing that person. No one else. You need to own your decisions and communicate them as your own.
4. “You’ve been underperforming compared to your colleagues.”
Leave the comparisons at the door. If you’re dismissing someone for performance, the only performance you should address is the performance of the employee who is being dismissed.
5. “We’ve decided we need a change.”
You should cite a specific reason for the termination. Do not be ambiguous. And the termination meeting shouldn’t be the first time that the employee is hearing about those issues.
6. “It’s not you. We’re just overstaffed.”
Never refer to firing someone as a downsizing. A termination isn’t a layoff.
7. “I’m sorry.”
You won’t be able to reduce the sting of getting fired, especially when you’re the one doing the firing. Plus, you don’t want to give the impression that being fired is up for negotiation, and someone can talk themselves out of it.
8. “This isn’t the right fit.”
This is another example of when using ambiguous language like this, especially without documentation, could potentially land you in hot water with a wrongful termination claim.
9. “You want to argue over why this is happening. Let’s get into that.”
Don’t get into a debate over why you’re letting that person go. Give that person the space to voice their thoughts, but don’t get into a discussion over them. Be clear, concise, and firm that the separation stands.
10. “You’ve been unhappy here for some time. You’ll feel relieved to move on.”
Although you’re dismissing someone from their role, you shouldn’t be dismissive or patronizing when doing it. You also don’t want to make it seem as if someone’s personality or feelings about their work played into the choice to let them go. Stick to sharing poor performance or another valid reason to support the termination, and leave it at that.
11. “We’ll cover the next steps later.”
When someone has just lost their job, they shouldn’t have to wonder when they’ll receive their last paycheck. Be ready to provide that information then and there, or share who (for example, an HR staff member) and when will be providing the next steps.
12. “Security will see you out.”
If it’s not necessary, don’t take actions that turn someone’s termination into a spectacle. I remember seeing someone who had worked for a company for 20 years being escorted out by security after losing his job. It was a visual reminder that employees are disposable, no matter how long they served the business, and that’s not good for morale.
Companies should remember that how they handle employment separation can be as much a reflection on them as it is on the employee who is being fired. If you’re asking someone to leave immediately, consider giving them a set period of time (e.g., 5 or 10 minutes) to gather their items before meeting you at the exit.
13. “If I can help you out in any way, just let me know.”
If you’re saying this when you’re firing someone, you’re probably not being honest. Besides, the logical response someone would have to hearing if there is something you can help them with in that moment would be to allow them to keep their job or to provide a reference, neither of which you’re likely to do.
14. “You’ll be better off.”
You don’t know that, and saying so when you actually still have a job is insulting. It’s possible they may look back and one day think that, but the day you fire them is definitely not that day. The same goes for similar platitudes like “consider this a blessing in disguise” or “the glass isn’t half empty, it’s half full.”
15. “It’s just a job” or “it’s not the end of the world.”
It’s not happening to you, and that person may not have savings to fall back on. So it’s not just a job. That paycheck represents survival. Don’t be dismissive when you’re dismissing someone from their role.
These six steps cover the termination process:
Set the meeting for when you aren’t time-pressed and won’t be interrupted. If you work in an office or are a hybrid worker, ensure it is in-person. If the employee who is being fired is remote and not near an office, or your company is fully distributed without a hub, handle the termination face-to-face on a video call.
Be direct and firm without wavering when delivering the news. You don’t want to confuse the person you’re firing, which is why euphemisms like “it may be time for you to consider moving on” should not be used.
Point out the poor performance that didn’t improve despite warnings, if that’s the cause for firing the employee. Put together a script and rehearse it. Keep it simple, and stick to it when it’s time to deliver it.For instance, you could say something like this when you’re firing someone for performance issues:
Your performance hasn’t met the expectations and goals we’ve set together. You’ve received feedback, and your performance didn’t improve. As a result, I’m terminating your employment with this company.
This will be your last day (or communicate when that will be), and you can expect to receive your final paycheck on [note the date, if you’re not handing it to them at that moment].
If the reason for the termination is due to bullying, harassment, lateness, stealing, or other unacceptable behaviors, point out what’s been reported and any patterns that have been identified and investigated. Also, note any disciplinary actions that have been taken and your zero-tolerance company policy.
Along with sharing details of when they’ll be paid and what to expect in that last paycheck (such as any accrued vacation time, if that applies), be prepared to tell them when their employer-sponsored benefits will end.During that termination meeting, also inform them when they can collect their personal belongings and how to return their computer (if they have a laptop). Additionally, let them know when their team members will find out that they’re no longer with the company.
Wrap it up with if and when human resources (HR) will be in touch, or how they can reach you with any follow-up questions regarding the next steps they discussed and the information they will receive for the exit process.
Give them time to process the information you’ve just given them without rushing them to get up and go immediately. That could trigger strong emotions. Instead, listen to them, but don’t engage in a debate. Also, don’t try to say you understand or apologize. There really isn’t a positive note you can end on during a termination conversation. Instead, make no promises, share no opinions, and use neutral language, such as “I hear you, but the decision won’t change.”
FAQ on how not to fire employees
What are common mistakes managers make when firing an employee?
Even when it’s clear you can’t continue to employ someone, it’s important to remember that their financial future will be impacted by ending their employment with your company. So there’s the potential for it to become an emotionally charged situation if not handled properly, not to mention a liability as well.
You owe it to those individuals and your business not to wing it. Although the working relationship is over, everyone still deserves to be treated with consideration. Being prepared will support that and help you avoid what can go wrong, as well as ensure the termination meeting stays on track.
These are some common mistakes that employers make when letting go of employees:
Being reactive
Whether or not your business is based in an at-will state, you don’t want to fire someone on the spot. When it’s done without warning, there’s the possibility it can reflect poorly on you, undermining the trust and faith the rest of your team has in you.
When you begin to identify that an employee isn’t working out, consult with a human resources professional to put together a plan, which could also require receiving legal advice. Ideally, an HR professional should also be present for the termination meeting.
Having no documentation
Records, records, records. Keep them and maintain them. Having a written record of emails and notes, or a visual one with screenshots, indicating that notices of poor performance, lateness, insubordination, or other serious infractions were given and not addressed, is key. They could be needed if a terminated employee takes legal action for dismissal.
The warnings—whether they were part of performance reviews, a performance improvement plan (PIP), or separate from them—also indicate that opportunities were given. If corrections weren’t made following the advance warnings, then being let go should come as less of a surprise, or at the very least, not a shock.
Not preparing administrative needs
When relieving someone from their role, providing a termination letter is a best practice, though it’s not required. Also, be ready to tell them when they’ll receive their final paycheck, if you don’t give it to them that day. Likewise, share when their last day is, if not that same day.
Some other details to communicate:
Severance pay or severance package, if applicable and offered
Status of accrued vacation in final paycheck (state rules apply)
Unemployment insurance eligibility information
Return of all company property
How can you prepare for a termination meeting?
You need to take every essential step to avoid or ensure you’re protected against a claim of wrongful termination. The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) recommends reviewing whether any of these situations with the employee apply:
Is there a contract in place?
Have there been any workplace-safety, harassment, or wage-related complaints?
Is there a return from leave?
Does the employee belong to a protected class?
Then prepare a termination letter, which should include the termination date, the reason for termination, confidentiality and non-compete reminders for existing agreements, HR contact details, how and when to return equipment, and next steps (e.g., final pay, benefits, and an exit interview). You can use this template when crafting your termination letters.
What legal considerations should you keep in mind when firing someone?
It’s important to always keep in mind that the decision to employ someone is a serious responsibility. By hiring them, you’re not only supporting your business, you’re supporting them. The job may keep their rent or mortgage paid, provide essential benefits, and put food on the table. So you’ll want to let some go for legitimate and not unlawful reasons, and treat them respectfully throughout the difficult process.
Because of what’s at stake for both parties, any dismissal from work has the potential to become emotionally charged. To avoid a problematic event and protect your business and yourself from legal issues, it’s critical to do your due diligence to not only handle the termination carefully but to end someone’s employment for a cause that either won’t open you up to a lawsuit or would protect you in the event one occurs.
According to FindLaw, a legal resource, some of the safest reasons to end employment include:
Conduct (e.g., harassment or not showing up)
Capability (i.e., employee’s performance)
Redundancy, as in staff members have similar roles
Statutory restriction, which is a legal reason they can’t perform the job)
Another substantial reason, such as a conflict of interest or causing damage to a company’s reputation
The self-help site Nolo also covers how you could land yourself and your business in legal trouble if you fire an employee in these situations:
Written or implied promises, which would create exceptions to at-will employment
Breaches of good faith and fair dealing, such as misleading employees or fabricating reasons for firing them
Violations of public policy (i.e., violating employment laws that exist, like firing employees for taking time off to vote or serve on a jury)
Discrimination (firing employees for their race, color, national origin, gender, religion, age, disability, pregnancy, or genetic information, which are protected classes of employees)
Retaliation (i.e., firing employees for filing harassment or discrimination claims or for taking other legally protected actions)
Fraud, as in the employer engaged in it
Defamation
Whistle-blowing violations
What phrases can make a firing conversation worse?
A Preply 2025 survey reveals that 55% of managers who have fired employees did it without training, so it’s unsurprising that 65% of Americans who have been let go think their managers handled it poorly.
The survey was focused on the language that’s used during firings and what those experiences were like. Even the managers had regrets: 1 in 6 wished their word choice was better. What were the top five most common phrases managers used:
Letting you go (44.29%)
Effective immediately (31.45%)
Terminating your employment (28.50%)
This isn’t working out (24.52%)
No longer require services (21.05%)
What you say to someone and how you say it can have a real impact and can make difficult conversations even worse. When we say something vague like “it’s not working out” without evidence to back up that conclusory statement, it could open you up to litigation. So even though it has been a commonly used phrase during separation meetings, it falls into the group of “what not to say when firing someone” statements. Also, avoid “not a good fit” or “not a cultural fit” comments; they could lead to a discrimination claim in the absence of factual support, too.
